It spends Advent and Christmas on my counter next to an icon of Mary and small prayer candle. Here it serves as a daily reflection about the power of love and the joy of friendship, perfect lessons for this holy season.

I bought the ornament, not because of its affordable price, but because it had the name of my dear friend Joan, who died before I could give it to her.

Joan was a woman whose simple and sincere devotion to family and friends was extraordinary. As holidays come and go, I am always struck by a wave of sadness that we no longer share those heartwarming gatherings around her table with friends, talking and laughing for hours until our stomachs hurt. Missing them, and her, is an ache even after all these years.

Sadly, we don’t always recognize how much friends impact our lives until they are gone.

I am grateful that memories of Joan are a frequent reason to smile. I think of her when I try to make Christmas cookies like her, and fail, knowing she would be laughing and filling a box for me of her own amazing treats, or when my roast comes out dry, remembering the two perfectly cooked roasts she brought to me when I was sick and caring for my large family.

Generosity and compassion were her hallmarks, not just for her friends and family but anyone who she knew needed something, and when Joan was in need of help herself, after her husband died unexpectedly leaving her with two young sons, Joan was humble enough to allow others to share what they had with her.

Even then, Joan would be helping to fill Thanksgiving baskets for parish families in need, or buy gifts for the Jesse Tree, or bring groceries and food to friends who were sick or in need.

Joan loved Jesus, something she chose to share with young people as a parish coordinator of religious education. Her joy showed in the warmth of her smile across the parish choir loft, and at the table where parish catechists gathered after class and sat for hours sharing stories and ideas and, often, some of her home baked breads and a few welcomed cups of coffee.

Most recently I recalled Joan’s remarkable heart when I read a homily by Pope Francis about the meaning of the Works of Mercy as sharing the suffering of others.

The Holy Father stressed, “We do not do works of mercy to assuage our consciences, to make us feel better. Rather, the merciful person is the one who has pity on others and shares in their suffering. We must ask ourselves, am I generous? Do I know how to put myself in another person’s shoes? Do I suffer when I see another person in difficulty?”

Today, I am reminded of Joan who is obviously still reaching out with love to those of us who knew her.

Mutual friends were having marital problems and the wife was ready to call it quits. She went to the attic to start cleaning out some things and there, sitting out in the open where she was bound to see it, was a “Marriage Advice” card Joan had filled out for her at her wedding shower many years prior. Joan’s advice: Forgive, always forgive.

It was advice taken, and another friend is still gathering the graces of the friend who loves Jesus.

Mary Clifford Morrell is the author of “Things My Father Taught Me About Love” and “Let Go and Live: Reclaiming your life by releasing your emotional clutter.”