Accompanying a loved one during illness

July 15, 2024 at 12:00 a.m.
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By Jessica Donohue, Special Contributor

The shortest sentence in Scripture is probably one of the most moving: “And Jesus wept” (John 11:35). These three words teach us that our God is not distant, but is with us in our joys and in our sorrows. And one of the most difficult sorrows we can share as human beings is to watch someone we love suffer. When a loved one is ill, we can become overwhelmed and feel immobilized and unsure of what to do. But there are multiple ways we can channel these emotions into acts of love and support, and opportunities to foster empathy and compassion in our children by allowing them to help too.

PRAYER

Be sensitive to where this person may be on their faith journey. If the person seems open to it, offer to pray for and with him or her. Even if he or she may not be open at the time to discuss prayer, we can always pray on our own. When you pray for the person, invite your child to join you and add his or her own personal prayers for the person. This may give you some insight into how your child is feeling about the situation as well.

OFFERING HELP

“Please let me know what I can do” is a well-intentioned offer, but putting the onus on the other person may feel like one more task was just added to his or her “to-do” list.

Instead, offer a specific way you can help. Some examples include: grocery shopping, helping to care for the children or providing meals or organizing a meal train for the family. Children can easily be involved with some of these tasks, and will learn the gift of service to others. If a child is not old enough to understand what your loved one is going through, helping with something like cooking a meal can be a meaningful, age-appropriate way for your child to offer care for the person.

ANOINTING OF THE SICK

This Sacrament of healing is often misunderstood as one we receive only before the moment of death. It is also intended to offer spiritual healing for people suffering in a variety of ways. If you think your loved one might want to receive the Sacrament, contact your parish for guidance.

Of all the ways we can reach out to people we love during times of illness, the most meaningful way might be just to be with him or her. It may be enough to simply say, ‘I’m not sure what to say, but I want you to know that I am here,” and to actually be present during a situation that can be so isolating. In this way, we can bring the love of the Good Shepherd, who walks with us through pain and sorrow, to others, a reminder of His promise: “And behold, I am with you always, until the end of the age” (Matthew 28:20).

Jessica Donohue is parish catechetical leader in St. Joan of Arc Parish, Marlton.

Faith at Home is a monthly column coordinated by the Diocese of Trenton’s Departments of Catechesis, Evangelization and Family Life, and Youth and Young Adult Ministry. For additional Faith at Home resources, visit dioceseoftrenton.org/faith-at-home.

The Church needs quality Catholic journalism now more than ever. Please consider supporting this work by signing up for a SUBSCRIPTION (click HERE) or making a DONATION to The Monitor (click HERE). Thank you for your support.


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The shortest sentence in Scripture is probably one of the most moving: “And Jesus wept” (John 11:35). These three words teach us that our God is not distant, but is with us in our joys and in our sorrows. And one of the most difficult sorrows we can share as human beings is to watch someone we love suffer. When a loved one is ill, we can become overwhelmed and feel immobilized and unsure of what to do. But there are multiple ways we can channel these emotions into acts of love and support, and opportunities to foster empathy and compassion in our children by allowing them to help too.

PRAYER

Be sensitive to where this person may be on their faith journey. If the person seems open to it, offer to pray for and with him or her. Even if he or she may not be open at the time to discuss prayer, we can always pray on our own. When you pray for the person, invite your child to join you and add his or her own personal prayers for the person. This may give you some insight into how your child is feeling about the situation as well.

OFFERING HELP

“Please let me know what I can do” is a well-intentioned offer, but putting the onus on the other person may feel like one more task was just added to his or her “to-do” list.

Instead, offer a specific way you can help. Some examples include: grocery shopping, helping to care for the children or providing meals or organizing a meal train for the family. Children can easily be involved with some of these tasks, and will learn the gift of service to others. If a child is not old enough to understand what your loved one is going through, helping with something like cooking a meal can be a meaningful, age-appropriate way for your child to offer care for the person.

ANOINTING OF THE SICK

This Sacrament of healing is often misunderstood as one we receive only before the moment of death. It is also intended to offer spiritual healing for people suffering in a variety of ways. If you think your loved one might want to receive the Sacrament, contact your parish for guidance.

Of all the ways we can reach out to people we love during times of illness, the most meaningful way might be just to be with him or her. It may be enough to simply say, ‘I’m not sure what to say, but I want you to know that I am here,” and to actually be present during a situation that can be so isolating. In this way, we can bring the love of the Good Shepherd, who walks with us through pain and sorrow, to others, a reminder of His promise: “And behold, I am with you always, until the end of the age” (Matthew 28:20).

Jessica Donohue is parish catechetical leader in St. Joan of Arc Parish, Marlton.

Faith at Home is a monthly column coordinated by the Diocese of Trenton’s Departments of Catechesis, Evangelization and Family Life, and Youth and Young Adult Ministry. For additional Faith at Home resources, visit dioceseoftrenton.org/faith-at-home.

The Church needs quality Catholic journalism now more than ever. Please consider supporting this work by signing up for a SUBSCRIPTION (click HERE) or making a DONATION to The Monitor (click HERE). Thank you for your support.

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