The Sunday between Christmas and Epiphany is celebrated as the Feast of the Holy Family. Our Gospel passage is the well-known account of the 12-year old Jesus choosing to stay behind in the Temple precincts to discuss matters of the Law and Prophets with the scholars, instead of accompanying his parents back to Nazareth.

Perhaps no other image of Jesus can resonate with parents than that of a 12-year-old who chooses his own path instead of doing what was expected. Jesus’s three-day absence from his parents causes them much distress, leaving them frazzled and upset. When they finally locate him, Jesus doesn’t seem to understand their concern and acts a bit surprised that they didn’t understand him. Nonetheless, Jesus returns with them to Nazareth, and we hear nothing more of him for 18 years.

There must be some consolation here that even Jesus could be an impetuous 12-year-old and that the Holy Family endured struggles much as any ordinary family. Perhaps this is why St. Luke places this event in the Gospels. In humanizing the mysterious we find some hope.

The Holy Family functioned as a normal family, yet due to their uniqueness within Salvation History, lived under the divine protection of the constant outpouring of grace into their lives. All of us know the struggles of family life, the challenges to keep things going when it looks like the wheels are coming off the cart, and the deep desire to provide a sense of normalcy even when things are completely awry.

This past March 19, the Solemnity of St. Joseph, Pope Francis addressed the participants in the on-line conference “our daily love” for the opening of the year: “famiglia amoris laetitia.”

He wrote: “When the family lives in the sign of this divine Communion, then it becomes a living word of the God of Love, spoken to the world and for the world. In fact, the grammar of family relationships - that is, of conjugal, maternity, paternity, filiality and fraternity -- is the way through which the language of love is transmitted, which gives meaning to life and human quality to every relationship. It is a language made up not only of words, but also of ways of being, of how we speak, of the looks, gestures, times and spaces of our relationship with others. Spouses know this well, parents and children learn it every day at this school of love which is the family. And in this context, the transmission of the faith between generations also takes place: it passes precisely through the language of good and healthy relationships that are lived in the family every day.
[[In-content Ad]]

“In this time of pandemic, among so many psychological, as well as economic and health discomforts, all this has become evident: family ties have been and still are severely tested, but at the same time they remain the strongest point of reference, support stronger, the irreplaceable garrison for the seal of the entire human and social community.

“Let us therefore support the family! Let's defend it from what compromises its beauty. Let us approach this mystery of love with amazement, with discretion and tenderness. And let us commit ourselves to safeguarding his precious and delicate bonds: children, parents, grandparents… These bonds are needed to live and to live well, to make humanity more fraternal.”

The Holy Father is clear that we must focus on the gifts and the grace of family life even, and especially, in the midst of great challenges and struggles. It is in loving and faith-filled families that the faith is nurtured and takes root, and most certainly where vocations are fostered.

When families abrogate their responsibilities and hand them over to others – no matter how well-intentioned – we lost something, something essential. Our society depends on families to educate and form our children for sure. Likewise, our Church needs strong and healthy families to plant and nourish seeds of faith. Our care of children is a preparation for the future, laying the framework for the growth in society and the Church. But our primary responsibility to all members of our families, is to accompany them on the path to heaven. Through our sharing the faith, and living in a community of love, provides the seedbed for walking the journey to eternal life.

Likewise, our attentiveness to and care for the vulnerable – the infirmed, the elderly, those who are marginalized – borne of love and our desire to live the Gospel of Jesus Christ, is an accompanying on this journey we are on together. We believe that the bonds in this life carry us through to eternal life, and that it is the family that keeps us safe on this journey.

Father Garry Koch is pastor of St. Benedict Parish, Holmdel.