Sharing our Catholic faith with others is most often built on the “fine art of paying attention.” As we befriend them, listen to them, and get to know them, they give us all kinds of cues about themselves—how they feel about their lives, what they are thinking about and where they are going.

Lorene Hanley Duquin, author, speaker and Catholic evangelizer notes that inactive Catholics who are considering returning to the Church often give us concrete signs or cues:

They ask questions… The most common sign is when someone begins to ask questions about God, good and evil or the meaning of life. They begin to ask, “What is my life about? Why do I do what I do? Is there any purpose in all of this?”  We can help the person find meaning for him or herself through active listening. We don’t have to offer solutions or answers. Offer an opinion only when asked.

They share memories…Reminiscing about Catholic school, nuns, priests, or parish activities is another sign. Memories of music, incense, or some special liturgy will surface. Sometimes, talking about a bad experience they had can help put it in perspective. Encourage the person to separate anger toward a person from anger at the Church.

They expand their reading… Many inactive Catholics read or watch their way back to the Church. It’s a good idea to keep Catholic books, magazines, newspapers, CDs, DVDs, website or blog addresses available and even have the parish bulletin or diocesan newspaper in places where family members and friends can pick them up.

They are impacted by current events… Catholic news events can trigger interest in some people. Stay up to date on Papal visits, Marian apparitions, Vatican announcements and local news about Catholic people and events—like “The Year of Faith” 2012-2013 and “The New Evangelization.” Even a recent scandal can be a great opportunity to explain why we choose to remain Catholic!

They are affected by major life events… Illness, death, divorce, the birth of a baby, a job loss or transfer, kids growing into their teenage years, moving to a new home are all life events that can trigger a desire to return to church. Sometimes people are afraid the Church will reject them if they have been gone for a long time or they think they are excommunicated. Help them get accurate information about where they stand with God and the Church.

They experience God’s Presence… Jesus Christ’s presence in the Eucharist is often a factor in bringing people back. Invite them to family weddings, baptisms, funerals, First Communions, Confirmations, Ash Wednesday, May crowning, Trenton’s 2012 Eucharistic Congress, “Christmas Carol Festival” in a local parish, or Mass on Christmas and Easter. Be an inviter.

How can we grow in paying attention and listening to others? Consider coming to “LAB 1: Communication Skills for Outreach and Evangelization. Sponsored by the Ministry of Catechesis and Evangelization, it starts Wednesday, Sept. 5, 7-9:30 p.m. and continues for six Saturdays, Sept. 8 through Nov. 10, 8:45 a.m. to 3:30 p.m. (bring a lunch) in St. Martha Church, 3800 Herbertsville Rd., Point Pleasant.

Learn to develop deeper listening and relationship skills in a warm and caring environment, enhance caring behaviors (in ministry, family, work), cope with anger and criticism more positively, increase adult responses to immature behavior, find out why people become inactive (from relationships and the Church) and discover ways to help them return.

Registration is $100/person, checks payable to the Diocese of Trenton. For a full brochure or more information contact: 609-403-7205 or e-mail [email protected].

Boucher is associate director for evangelization in the diocesan Ministry of Catechesis and Evangelization.  He can be reached at [email protected].