“He is like a tree planted by water, that sends out its roots by the stream, and does not fear when heat comes, for its leaves remain green, and is not anxious in the year of drought, for it does not cease to bear fruit.”  Jeremiah 17:8

Recently a friend, who has been dealing with a frustrating family issue, came to me and burst out, “I really think that stubbornness is a major cause of death and injury in seniors!”

I wasn’t sure exactly sure what she was referring to, but having lived for 39 years with a husband who has the stubborn gene, I could whole-heartedly agree.

Stubbornness, to a degree, has its value. On the positive side, it can be described as passion, tenacity, persistence, determination – all qualities that allow a person to accomplish more than others might.

But, as author Anthony J. D’Angelo advises, “Never let your persistence and passion turn into stubbornness and ignorance.”

When stubbornness dominates a person, and becomes obstinacy or pig-headedness, it leads to those emergency room visits for illnesses that have gotten out of control because of a dogged resistance to doctor visits, or to taking medication as prescribed. It leads to falls and injuries when those dealing with the growing limitations of age insist on climbing stairs to the second floor bathroom, or maneuvering over bathtubs to take a shower, when no one is home. It leads to declining health when there is a refusal to change eating habits to adapt to the changing needs of an aging body.

 “I am right and there’s no need to change,” is the prevailing mantra. No advice wanted.

But when faced with significant physical or mental challenges, the stubborn refusal to seek or allow help, or agree to more workable living arrangements, among other things, poses a great risk and takes an even greater toll on children and loved ones who are trying to ensure safety and well-being.

One of the biggest problems of stubbornness is the inability, or refusal, to adapt to change. But, as life itself teaches, nothing is more certain than change. It is the constant of life, however contradictory that may seem, and as science has proven, a failure to adapt generally leads to extinction.

Scripture contains dozens of references to stubborn, stiff-necked, hard-hearted people who refuse to be receptive to the grace and instruction of God, because they believed they knew better. Proverbs 29:1 points to the dangers of this flaw: “Those stiff-necked in the face of reproof in an instant will be shattered beyond cure.”

The value of flexibility can be readily seen in nature, where trees with soft, green wood that can bend with the wind are left standing after a storm, when trees whose wood is stiff and dry, snap in half or are ripped from the ground. This principle is so effective that engineers apply it when designing skyscrapers, incorporating flexibility into the foundation so the building will be hurricane proof, swaying in the wind instead of breaking apart.

Life is challenging enough without our making it harder on ourselves than it has to be. If, as experts have declared, the basis of stubbornness is fear, then it would be fruitful to remember this beautiful line from Scripture: “Perfect love casts out fear.”

Turning to God when faced with change, and being receptive to God’s “advice,” will ensure decisions that are wise and beneficial for our well-being. Then we will be like the willow tree, flexible and unafraid of change.