Some thoughts on mental illness

September 9, 2025 at 12:44 p.m.
Canva image
Canva image

By Bishop David M. O’Connell, C.M.

Throughout my years of priestly ministry, I have sat with countless individuals and families—parishioners, clergy, and others—who have entrusted me with their most personal struggles. I have listened to stories of depression, anxiety, addiction, and a wide range of mental health challenges.

These burdens are often carried silently hidden behind smiles, masked by busy lives, and sometimes misunderstood, even by those closest to us.

Today, I write to you not only as Bishop, but as a fellow traveler on the journey of faith. I want to say this clearly, and with deep compassion:

You are not alone.

Let Us Speak Honestly:

  • Mental illness is not a moral failure.
  • Addiction is not a sign of weak faith.
  • Depression is not ingratitude.
  • Anxiety is not hopelessness.

These are profoundly human experiences—complex, painful, and real. But they are never beyond the reach of God’s healing love. In fact, such moments call us to become vessels of that love for one another.

While I am not a medical professional, I have ministered to many whose suffering reaches far beyond what ordinary pastoral care alone can address. Their pain is a reminder that mental illness is more common than we may realize—and that the Church must be a place of compassion, understanding, and unwavering support.

The Scope of the Challenge

According to the National Institute of Mental Health (nimh.nih.gov), more than 59 million adults in the United States—about one in five—live with a mental illness. One in twenty face conditions serious enough to interfere with daily life. Among youth, according to the National Alliance on Mental Health (nami.org) numbers are even more sobering: one in six children (ages 6–17) experience a mental health disorder annually, and over 36% of young adults (ages 18–25) live with some form of mental illness.

Here in New Jersey, the trend mirrors the national picture. Over 1.3 million adults in our state live with mental illness, and more than 360,000 face serious conditions.

These are not just numbers. They are our neighbors, our coworkers, our fellow parishioners—and perhaps even ourselves.

Understanding Mental Illness

Mental illness is not merely a period of sadness or stress. Like diabetes or heart disease, it is a medical condition—one that affects the brain and behavior. Common forms include:

  • Depression
  • Anxiety disorders
  • Bipolar disorder
  • Schizophrenia
  • Eating disorders
  • Substance addiction

Mental illness can be mild or severe. It can and often does disrupt daily life, relationships, and a person’s sense of well-being. It often develops gradually and may go unnoticed. But awareness is the first step toward healing.

Signs to Watch For

In Yourself:

  • Persistent sadness, irritability, or emotional numbness
  • Loss of interest in once-enjoyed activities
  • Changes in sleep or appetite
  • Constant fatigue or low energy
  • Difficulty concentrating or making decisions
  • Feelings of hopelessness or worthlessness
  • Increased reliance on alcohol or substances

In Others:

  • Withdrawal from social life or relationships
  • Sudden mood swings or changes in behavior
  • Decline in work or school performance
  • Frequent unexplained physical complaints
  • Expressions of despair
  • Heightened stress or fear

In Children and Adolescents:

  • Excessive worry, fear, or separation anxiety
  • Frequent temper tantrums or aggression
  • Withdrawal from friends, play, or family
  • Decline in school performance
  • Nightmares or sleep disturbances
  • Hyperactivity or impulsiveness
  • Unexplained headaches or stomachaches

In Young Adults (18–25):

  • Persistent sadness or numbness
  • Extreme mood swings or irritability
  • Trouble concentrating or making decisions
  • Neglect of responsibilities or personal hygiene
  • Risky behaviors or substance use
  • Isolation or withdrawal
  • Alarming or cryptic social media posts

If you recognize these signs in yourself or someone you love, do not ignore them. Your presence, compassion, and encouragement may be the very lifeline someone needs.

What Can We Do?

  • Talk about it. Silence breeds shame. Conversation brings light.
  • Seek spiritual guidance. Speak with a priest or trusted pastoral leader.
  • Encourage professional help. Therapists, counselors, and physicians are vital companions on the journey.
  • Practice empathy. Healing takes time. Be patient.
  • Offer help gently. Even small acts of kindness can carry great meaning.

 

A Church That Walks With the Suffering

Our priests, pastoral ministers, Catholic school teachers, catechists, and parish leaders often encounter people struggling quietly with mental illness. These moments may be disguised blessings—opportunities for grace, mercy, and healing.

We, as the Church, are called to be a sanctuary of hope.” A place where:

  • No one suffers in silence
  • Mental illness is met with compassion and dignity
  • Spiritual and emotional healing are nurtured together

May our parishes, schools, and ministries always reflect the heart of Christ, who walked with the broken, lifted up the weary, and never turned away those in need.

Let us walk together in hope, with open hearts and a deep commitment to love one another—especially in our most vulnerable moments.

Loving God,
In our moments of darkness, when the weight seems too heavy to bear and the road uncertain, remind us that You walk beside us. Heal the brokenhearted and burdened, lift the weary, and give courage to those who are troubled and afraid. May our Church be a light in the shadows, a place of peace, and a witness to hope in Your boundless mercy.
Amen.

 If you or someone you know needs help with mental illness, there are trusted resources and professionals you can reach out to:

Emergency (Immediate Danger)

  • Call 911 – If someone is in immediate danger or a mental health crisis that could lead to harm, call emergency services.

Mental Health Crisis

  • 988 Suicide & Crisis Lifeline (available 24/7)
    Call or Text: 988

Non-Emergency Mental Health Support

  • NAMI Helpline (National Alliance on Mental Illness)
    Call: 1-800-950-NAMI (6264) (Mon–Fri, 10 AM–10 PM ET)
  • Catholic Charities, Diocese of Trenton: 800-360-7711 Offers a wide range of outpatient mental health services, including for children, adolescents, and adults.
  • Mental Health Information & Referrals of the NJ Division of Mental Health and Addiction Services, (800) 382-6717
  • NJ MentalHealthCares, call, toll-free, 866-202-HELP (4357). People who are deaf may access the Helpline through 711 NJ Relay. www.njmentalhealthcares.org



Related Stories

Throughout my years of priestly ministry, I have sat with countless individuals and families—parishioners, clergy, and others—who have entrusted me with their most personal struggles. I have listened to stories of depression, anxiety, addiction, and a wide range of mental health challenges.

These burdens are often carried silently hidden behind smiles, masked by busy lives, and sometimes misunderstood, even by those closest to us.

Today, I write to you not only as Bishop, but as a fellow traveler on the journey of faith. I want to say this clearly, and with deep compassion:

You are not alone.

Let Us Speak Honestly:

  • Mental illness is not a moral failure.
  • Addiction is not a sign of weak faith.
  • Depression is not ingratitude.
  • Anxiety is not hopelessness.

These are profoundly human experiences—complex, painful, and real. But they are never beyond the reach of God’s healing love. In fact, such moments call us to become vessels of that love for one another.

While I am not a medical professional, I have ministered to many whose suffering reaches far beyond what ordinary pastoral care alone can address. Their pain is a reminder that mental illness is more common than we may realize—and that the Church must be a place of compassion, understanding, and unwavering support.

The Scope of the Challenge

According to the National Institute of Mental Health (nimh.nih.gov), more than 59 million adults in the United States—about one in five—live with a mental illness. One in twenty face conditions serious enough to interfere with daily life. Among youth, according to the National Alliance on Mental Health (nami.org) numbers are even more sobering: one in six children (ages 6–17) experience a mental health disorder annually, and over 36% of young adults (ages 18–25) live with some form of mental illness.

Here in New Jersey, the trend mirrors the national picture. Over 1.3 million adults in our state live with mental illness, and more than 360,000 face serious conditions.

These are not just numbers. They are our neighbors, our coworkers, our fellow parishioners—and perhaps even ourselves.

Understanding Mental Illness

Mental illness is not merely a period of sadness or stress. Like diabetes or heart disease, it is a medical condition—one that affects the brain and behavior. Common forms include:

  • Depression
  • Anxiety disorders
  • Bipolar disorder
  • Schizophrenia
  • Eating disorders
  • Substance addiction

Mental illness can be mild or severe. It can and often does disrupt daily life, relationships, and a person’s sense of well-being. It often develops gradually and may go unnoticed. But awareness is the first step toward healing.

Signs to Watch For

In Yourself:

  • Persistent sadness, irritability, or emotional numbness
  • Loss of interest in once-enjoyed activities
  • Changes in sleep or appetite
  • Constant fatigue or low energy
  • Difficulty concentrating or making decisions
  • Feelings of hopelessness or worthlessness
  • Increased reliance on alcohol or substances

In Others:

  • Withdrawal from social life or relationships
  • Sudden mood swings or changes in behavior
  • Decline in work or school performance
  • Frequent unexplained physical complaints
  • Expressions of despair
  • Heightened stress or fear

In Children and Adolescents:

  • Excessive worry, fear, or separation anxiety
  • Frequent temper tantrums or aggression
  • Withdrawal from friends, play, or family
  • Decline in school performance
  • Nightmares or sleep disturbances
  • Hyperactivity or impulsiveness
  • Unexplained headaches or stomachaches

In Young Adults (18–25):

  • Persistent sadness or numbness
  • Extreme mood swings or irritability
  • Trouble concentrating or making decisions
  • Neglect of responsibilities or personal hygiene
  • Risky behaviors or substance use
  • Isolation or withdrawal
  • Alarming or cryptic social media posts

If you recognize these signs in yourself or someone you love, do not ignore them. Your presence, compassion, and encouragement may be the very lifeline someone needs.

What Can We Do?

  • Talk about it. Silence breeds shame. Conversation brings light.
  • Seek spiritual guidance. Speak with a priest or trusted pastoral leader.
  • Encourage professional help. Therapists, counselors, and physicians are vital companions on the journey.
  • Practice empathy. Healing takes time. Be patient.
  • Offer help gently. Even small acts of kindness can carry great meaning.

 

A Church That Walks With the Suffering

Our priests, pastoral ministers, Catholic school teachers, catechists, and parish leaders often encounter people struggling quietly with mental illness. These moments may be disguised blessings—opportunities for grace, mercy, and healing.

We, as the Church, are called to be a sanctuary of hope.” A place where:

  • No one suffers in silence
  • Mental illness is met with compassion and dignity
  • Spiritual and emotional healing are nurtured together

May our parishes, schools, and ministries always reflect the heart of Christ, who walked with the broken, lifted up the weary, and never turned away those in need.

Let us walk together in hope, with open hearts and a deep commitment to love one another—especially in our most vulnerable moments.

Loving God,
In our moments of darkness, when the weight seems too heavy to bear and the road uncertain, remind us that You walk beside us. Heal the brokenhearted and burdened, lift the weary, and give courage to those who are troubled and afraid. May our Church be a light in the shadows, a place of peace, and a witness to hope in Your boundless mercy.
Amen.

 If you or someone you know needs help with mental illness, there are trusted resources and professionals you can reach out to:

Emergency (Immediate Danger)

  • Call 911 – If someone is in immediate danger or a mental health crisis that could lead to harm, call emergency services.

Mental Health Crisis

  • 988 Suicide & Crisis Lifeline (available 24/7)
    Call or Text: 988

Non-Emergency Mental Health Support

  • NAMI Helpline (National Alliance on Mental Illness)
    Call: 1-800-950-NAMI (6264) (Mon–Fri, 10 AM–10 PM ET)
  • Catholic Charities, Diocese of Trenton: 800-360-7711 Offers a wide range of outpatient mental health services, including for children, adolescents, and adults.
  • Mental Health Information & Referrals of the NJ Division of Mental Health and Addiction Services, (800) 382-6717
  • NJ MentalHealthCares, call, toll-free, 866-202-HELP (4357). People who are deaf may access the Helpline through 711 NJ Relay. www.njmentalhealthcares.org


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