‘A Tug in my Heart’

Mercy Sister Barbara McDermott spent years discerning her vocation

August 5, 2024 at 12:04 a.m.
Sister Barbara Ann McDermott
Sister Barbara Ann McDermott


Although the vocational call comes early for many, for some it comes later in life, as was the case for Mercy Sister Barbara Ann McDermott. “My discernment process was ongoing for many years, and I felt a tug in my heart for religious life,” said Sister Barbara, who joined the Sisters of Mercy at age 47 and is celebrating her 25th anniversary.

That process began in a faith-filled home in Brooklyn, N.Y., where Barbara attended her parish school, St. Jerome School, and Catherine McAuley High School. There, her thoughts turned toward her vocation while surrounded by her teachers, who were Sisters of Mercy.

“My grandmother also had two cousins who were Sisters,” she said. “I had an inside view of Sisters not in a role, but as relatives.”

FINDING HER WAY

That experience was furthered in her college years. She commuted to St. Joseph’s College (now University), Brooklyn, for freshman year, then transferred to Georgian Court College (now University), Lakewood, when her family moved to New Jersey. It was there she was surrounded by the Sisters of Mercy – both as instructors and as dormmates. “The coincidence of it all is significant; I was very happy there,” Sister Barbara recalled. “I think it facilitated my understanding of the vocation in that I was living among them … I saw them in a real-life setting, and I think that was a factor in my following a vocation. I got to know them as people.” Sister Barbara earned a bachelor’s and master’s degree in education from GCU, and later a master’s degree in theology. Although she wanted to teach in a Catholic school, “there were no openings.”

Beginning as a substitute, Sister Barbara went on to teach first and second grades for 25 years in Whiting Elementary School, Whiting. She also taught second-grade religious education classes at St. Luke Parish, Toms River, for more than a decade. But the religious life was never far from her thoughts.

PASSING ON THE FAITH

At the gentle prodding of a Sister of Mercy friend, she became a lay associate of the Sisters of Mercy in 1992, thinking that would satisfy the yearning for a more religious experience. “As a lay associate you are walking the path with the Sisters, but not taking vows,” she said. “But I still had that tug at my heart. Basically, the call to be a Sister did not fade away.”

Calling the timing “pretty perfect,” after 25 years she retired from public school teaching and joined the Sisters of Mercy in 1999. She brought her teaching talents to third graders at St. Joseph School, Keyport, for one year, then for four years to second graders at Our Lady of Victories School, Sayreville. One of her fond memories there is teaching the first Communion class.

“I loved teaching, and in the Catholic schools it was very meaningful for me to be a part of the children’s faith formation,” Sister Barbara said. “You can bring God to them in many ways … and you can go more deeply [with stories and morals] … and I hope that came across to them.”

Both schools have since closed, and Sister Barbara was the last religious Sister to teach in either school.

“That hit me. I felt that loss,” she said. “The lay teachers were very dedicated, bringing mercy to the children just as much as I was … I was no better than them, we were working together in a Catholic school to bring them the faith.”

MINISTRY OF LISTENING

Sister Barbara retired from teaching in 2010 and returned home to care for her aging parents. After they died, she returned to the Sisters of Mercy convent in Keansburg, where she remains an active member of St. Ann Parish, and serves as Extraordinary Minister of Holy Communion to the homebound – something she also did for years at St. Luke’s.

“It’s a very sacred experience ... I’m witnessing their faith,” she said. “Receiving Communion is so important to them.”

She also emphasized the importance of spending time with them. “Bringing the Eucharist is the most important part, but the ministry of listening is important as well,” Sister Barbara noted. “I know it’s what they need … I’m being present to them.”

Sisters, she said, are “just human beings,” and for those considering a religious vocation, it’s important to “seek someone who can direct you spiritually and help you see what’s in your heart.”



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Although the vocational call comes early for many, for some it comes later in life, as was the case for Mercy Sister Barbara Ann McDermott. “My discernment process was ongoing for many years, and I felt a tug in my heart for religious life,” said Sister Barbara, who joined the Sisters of Mercy at age 47 and is celebrating her 25th anniversary.

That process began in a faith-filled home in Brooklyn, N.Y., where Barbara attended her parish school, St. Jerome School, and Catherine McAuley High School. There, her thoughts turned toward her vocation while surrounded by her teachers, who were Sisters of Mercy.

“My grandmother also had two cousins who were Sisters,” she said. “I had an inside view of Sisters not in a role, but as relatives.”

FINDING HER WAY

That experience was furthered in her college years. She commuted to St. Joseph’s College (now University), Brooklyn, for freshman year, then transferred to Georgian Court College (now University), Lakewood, when her family moved to New Jersey. It was there she was surrounded by the Sisters of Mercy – both as instructors and as dormmates. “The coincidence of it all is significant; I was very happy there,” Sister Barbara recalled. “I think it facilitated my understanding of the vocation in that I was living among them … I saw them in a real-life setting, and I think that was a factor in my following a vocation. I got to know them as people.” Sister Barbara earned a bachelor’s and master’s degree in education from GCU, and later a master’s degree in theology. Although she wanted to teach in a Catholic school, “there were no openings.”

Beginning as a substitute, Sister Barbara went on to teach first and second grades for 25 years in Whiting Elementary School, Whiting. She also taught second-grade religious education classes at St. Luke Parish, Toms River, for more than a decade. But the religious life was never far from her thoughts.

PASSING ON THE FAITH

At the gentle prodding of a Sister of Mercy friend, she became a lay associate of the Sisters of Mercy in 1992, thinking that would satisfy the yearning for a more religious experience. “As a lay associate you are walking the path with the Sisters, but not taking vows,” she said. “But I still had that tug at my heart. Basically, the call to be a Sister did not fade away.”

Calling the timing “pretty perfect,” after 25 years she retired from public school teaching and joined the Sisters of Mercy in 1999. She brought her teaching talents to third graders at St. Joseph School, Keyport, for one year, then for four years to second graders at Our Lady of Victories School, Sayreville. One of her fond memories there is teaching the first Communion class.

“I loved teaching, and in the Catholic schools it was very meaningful for me to be a part of the children’s faith formation,” Sister Barbara said. “You can bring God to them in many ways … and you can go more deeply [with stories and morals] … and I hope that came across to them.”

Both schools have since closed, and Sister Barbara was the last religious Sister to teach in either school.

“That hit me. I felt that loss,” she said. “The lay teachers were very dedicated, bringing mercy to the children just as much as I was … I was no better than them, we were working together in a Catholic school to bring them the faith.”

MINISTRY OF LISTENING

Sister Barbara retired from teaching in 2010 and returned home to care for her aging parents. After they died, she returned to the Sisters of Mercy convent in Keansburg, where she remains an active member of St. Ann Parish, and serves as Extraordinary Minister of Holy Communion to the homebound – something she also did for years at St. Luke’s.

“It’s a very sacred experience ... I’m witnessing their faith,” she said. “Receiving Communion is so important to them.”

She also emphasized the importance of spending time with them. “Bringing the Eucharist is the most important part, but the ministry of listening is important as well,” Sister Barbara noted. “I know it’s what they need … I’m being present to them.”

Sisters, she said, are “just human beings,” and for those considering a religious vocation, it’s important to “seek someone who can direct you spiritually and help you see what’s in your heart.”


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