When I Call for Help'-- The Church's enduring outreach to victims of domestic abuse
July 29, 2019 at 12:37 p.m.
By Dorothy K. LaMantia | Correspondent
And staff reports
A rash of incidents involving players in the National Football League beating their children or domestic partners has dominated the media and the public’s attention over the last year. While this abuse and all that has surrounded it have been troubling, they have brought about the positive outcome of renewed attention on what has been a long-standing problem.
This shameful scourge that often traps families in a cycle of violence has long been on the radar of leaders of the Catholic Church, and was formally addressed by U.S. Church leaders more than 20 years ago. In 1992 the U.S. Conference of Catholic Bishops promulgated “When I Call for Help: A Pastoral Response to Domestic Violence,” which declared it both a sin and a crime and called for the Christian community to work vigorously against it. The document stated that acting to end abuse did not violate marriage vows.
In 2002 the USCCB’s update of the document expressed the desire to offer the Church’s resources to both the victimized and the abusers, with the understanding that both groups needed Jesus’ strength and healing.
Pervasive Problem
Domestic abuse is widespread, cutting into all ethnic, racial, religious and economic backgrounds. The statistics remain staggering: one in four women and one in seven men aged 18 years or older in the United States has been victims of severe physical violence by an intimate partner. Every year, one in every three female homicide victims is murdered by her current or former partner.
It is the third leading cause of homelessness among families and costs more than $8.3 billion annually in law enforcement involvement, legal work, medical and mental health treatment, and lost productivity in the workplace.
Children witness violence in more than 30 percent of the cases. According to the USCCB, half of all abusive husbands abuse their children, jeopardizing the children’s mental and physical health while spawning generational cycles of abuse. Girls who witness abuse are likely to become future victims, their brothers, the abusers.
The torment begins with verbal abuse then escalates to the physical, emotional, economic and sexual. Some women suffer reproductive coercion and are forced to terminate pregnancy or undergo sterilization. Attempts to end the relationship are often met by threats of death to children and extended family members. Many abusers block their wives’ access to money and credit or overdraw bank accounts to ruin their credit ratings.
Local Resources
In the Diocese of Trenton, three facilities are dedicated to the support of families in crisis.
“Women must learn to recognize the risk factors,” said Mary Pettrow, director of Providence House Domestic Violence Service of Catholic Charities, a crisis intervention center in Burlington and Ocean Counties. “Abusers show jealousy, hypersensitivity, and possessiveness. They often lack a sense of self-worth, do not take responsibility for their actions, and look for someone to blame.”
“They want to be in control and become violent once they feel they are losing control,” said Carole, a survivor who visits schools and colleges to raise awareness of violent relationships. “It started when we were dating. I couldn’t go out with friends; he isolated me from my family. He had a magnetic personality, so my family never believed my complaints. I stayed, thinking he’d change. He did, but for the worse.” The abuse became physical, then life-threatening.
Debra, another survivor, ended a relationship when the fourth beating resulted in a broken nose requiring two surgeries. At the police station a volunteer directed her to Providence House, where Debra “listened and got educated. There were professionals with MSWs who became like family,” she said. “Their intuition, openness, and non-judgment were what I needed.”
For over 35 years, Providence House has been the first line of defense for the battered and their families in Burlington County. Open 24 hours, seven days a week, its programs – including a 24-hour hotline, a 27-bed safe house, counseling, legal advocacy, and outreach services for children – are offered free of charge.
Its facility in Ocean County opened 25 years ago and offers the same programs, while having a special mission to women age 50 and older.
“We provide food and clothing and reduce all barriers preventing them from coming for help,“ said Pettrow. “Every year we shelter 300 people on average at both sites. At two outreach locations we do safety and options counseling for those who are still living in an abusive home. “
The government provides 75 percent of its funding while donations and annual fundraisers – a gift auction every June in Ocean and “Taste of Burlington,” a night of culinary samplings from the county’s restaurants – fill the remainder. Volunteers reduce operating costs by donating 10,000 hours a year to the organization’s mission.
The Counseling Center at St. Francis Community Center, Brant Beach, operates a 24-hour hotline for victims of sexual assault in Ocean County.
“Our hotline receives 800 calls each year,” said Wendy Westberg, director of counseling, “to which our sexual assault advocates respond. When we receive calls from those in a violent home, we refer them to Providence House.”
Volunteer advocates meet victims of sex crimes at the local hospital or police station to lend support and guidance immediately after the trauma and to encourage them to seek counseling for long – term healing.
”Our 10 licensed therapists see 170 new sex crime victims in a year at our counseling program – free of charge, which is extended to family members, because the attack affects everyone,” spouse attends sessions with the victim.”
Families in crisis benefit from the center’s courses in parenting and anger management, both twelve-week programs. The parenting course is free of charge and welcome to all. Those court-ordered to enroll in anger management courses can do so at a cost of $360.
“A large percentage of our mothers are abused physically, sexually and emotionally,” said Joann DiNoia, director of Good Counsel Home – South Jersey, Riverside, which is supported by grants from the diocesan Campaign for Human Development and donations from pro-life supporters.
The home for pregnant women in crisis, age 18 and over, opened in April, 2011, and is part of a program founded 30 years ago by Franciscan Friar of the Renewal Father Benedict Groeschel.
“We educate our mothers to have self-esteem and independence and to know they do not have to submit to that treatment. We teach them life skills and house them for a year after the baby is born, until they are able to hold a job and live independently,” said Di Noia.
Other private programs serving the abused include 180 Turning Lives Around in Monmouth County. Contact www.180nj.org; and Womanspace, Lawrenceville, in Mercer County. Contact www.womanspace.org.
[[In-content Ad]]
Related Stories
Wednesday, October 30, 2024
E-Editions
Events
By Dorothy K. LaMantia | Correspondent
And staff reports
A rash of incidents involving players in the National Football League beating their children or domestic partners has dominated the media and the public’s attention over the last year. While this abuse and all that has surrounded it have been troubling, they have brought about the positive outcome of renewed attention on what has been a long-standing problem.
This shameful scourge that often traps families in a cycle of violence has long been on the radar of leaders of the Catholic Church, and was formally addressed by U.S. Church leaders more than 20 years ago. In 1992 the U.S. Conference of Catholic Bishops promulgated “When I Call for Help: A Pastoral Response to Domestic Violence,” which declared it both a sin and a crime and called for the Christian community to work vigorously against it. The document stated that acting to end abuse did not violate marriage vows.
In 2002 the USCCB’s update of the document expressed the desire to offer the Church’s resources to both the victimized and the abusers, with the understanding that both groups needed Jesus’ strength and healing.
Pervasive Problem
Domestic abuse is widespread, cutting into all ethnic, racial, religious and economic backgrounds. The statistics remain staggering: one in four women and one in seven men aged 18 years or older in the United States has been victims of severe physical violence by an intimate partner. Every year, one in every three female homicide victims is murdered by her current or former partner.
It is the third leading cause of homelessness among families and costs more than $8.3 billion annually in law enforcement involvement, legal work, medical and mental health treatment, and lost productivity in the workplace.
Children witness violence in more than 30 percent of the cases. According to the USCCB, half of all abusive husbands abuse their children, jeopardizing the children’s mental and physical health while spawning generational cycles of abuse. Girls who witness abuse are likely to become future victims, their brothers, the abusers.
The torment begins with verbal abuse then escalates to the physical, emotional, economic and sexual. Some women suffer reproductive coercion and are forced to terminate pregnancy or undergo sterilization. Attempts to end the relationship are often met by threats of death to children and extended family members. Many abusers block their wives’ access to money and credit or overdraw bank accounts to ruin their credit ratings.
Local Resources
In the Diocese of Trenton, three facilities are dedicated to the support of families in crisis.
“Women must learn to recognize the risk factors,” said Mary Pettrow, director of Providence House Domestic Violence Service of Catholic Charities, a crisis intervention center in Burlington and Ocean Counties. “Abusers show jealousy, hypersensitivity, and possessiveness. They often lack a sense of self-worth, do not take responsibility for their actions, and look for someone to blame.”
“They want to be in control and become violent once they feel they are losing control,” said Carole, a survivor who visits schools and colleges to raise awareness of violent relationships. “It started when we were dating. I couldn’t go out with friends; he isolated me from my family. He had a magnetic personality, so my family never believed my complaints. I stayed, thinking he’d change. He did, but for the worse.” The abuse became physical, then life-threatening.
Debra, another survivor, ended a relationship when the fourth beating resulted in a broken nose requiring two surgeries. At the police station a volunteer directed her to Providence House, where Debra “listened and got educated. There were professionals with MSWs who became like family,” she said. “Their intuition, openness, and non-judgment were what I needed.”
For over 35 years, Providence House has been the first line of defense for the battered and their families in Burlington County. Open 24 hours, seven days a week, its programs – including a 24-hour hotline, a 27-bed safe house, counseling, legal advocacy, and outreach services for children – are offered free of charge.
Its facility in Ocean County opened 25 years ago and offers the same programs, while having a special mission to women age 50 and older.
“We provide food and clothing and reduce all barriers preventing them from coming for help,“ said Pettrow. “Every year we shelter 300 people on average at both sites. At two outreach locations we do safety and options counseling for those who are still living in an abusive home. “
The government provides 75 percent of its funding while donations and annual fundraisers – a gift auction every June in Ocean and “Taste of Burlington,” a night of culinary samplings from the county’s restaurants – fill the remainder. Volunteers reduce operating costs by donating 10,000 hours a year to the organization’s mission.
The Counseling Center at St. Francis Community Center, Brant Beach, operates a 24-hour hotline for victims of sexual assault in Ocean County.
“Our hotline receives 800 calls each year,” said Wendy Westberg, director of counseling, “to which our sexual assault advocates respond. When we receive calls from those in a violent home, we refer them to Providence House.”
Volunteer advocates meet victims of sex crimes at the local hospital or police station to lend support and guidance immediately after the trauma and to encourage them to seek counseling for long – term healing.
”Our 10 licensed therapists see 170 new sex crime victims in a year at our counseling program – free of charge, which is extended to family members, because the attack affects everyone,” spouse attends sessions with the victim.”
Families in crisis benefit from the center’s courses in parenting and anger management, both twelve-week programs. The parenting course is free of charge and welcome to all. Those court-ordered to enroll in anger management courses can do so at a cost of $360.
“A large percentage of our mothers are abused physically, sexually and emotionally,” said Joann DiNoia, director of Good Counsel Home – South Jersey, Riverside, which is supported by grants from the diocesan Campaign for Human Development and donations from pro-life supporters.
The home for pregnant women in crisis, age 18 and over, opened in April, 2011, and is part of a program founded 30 years ago by Franciscan Friar of the Renewal Father Benedict Groeschel.
“We educate our mothers to have self-esteem and independence and to know they do not have to submit to that treatment. We teach them life skills and house them for a year after the baby is born, until they are able to hold a job and live independently,” said Di Noia.
Other private programs serving the abused include 180 Turning Lives Around in Monmouth County. Contact www.180nj.org; and Womanspace, Lawrenceville, in Mercer County. Contact www.womanspace.org.
[[In-content Ad]]