By Lois Rogers | Correspondent

The breadth of end-of-life issues, as articulated in Catholic teaching, was the focus when 120 persons from the around the Diocese gathered Nov. 20 in St. Robert Bellarmine Church, Freehold.

The five-hour program covered a range of topics, including care giving, funeral rites, assisted suicide. Clergy focused on the transitions of faith that come to us all as we age whether on our own or in loving companionship.

Entitled “Faith, Hope and Love at Life’s End: A Catholic Perspective on End-of-Life,” the program was one of two sponsored by the diocesan Office of Worship and the Department of Pastoral Care.

Deanna Sass, director of the Department of Pastoral Care, referred to “the common thread of seeing the Church as community in trying to assist people in suffering, difficulty and pain to assure people that they are not alone.”

In brief remarks, Sass said assuring people they are not alone is the most important thing those in pastoral care can do. She illustrated that point by relating that “Be Not Afraid” is the single most oft repeated phrase in the Scripture.

“Assure them that they matter,” Sass urged. “Whether (you meet them) in prison or in hospice, say your life matters.”

Those messages resounded throughout the day by such speakers Father Michael Manning, a physician and author highly regarded for his expertise in Catholic teaching on medical ethics.

Father Manning, pastor of Holy Cross Parish, Rumson, spoke of the Church’s nurturing mission to address the “big fears” people might have about the end-of-life journey being full of uncertainty and pain. “The Church,” he assured everyone, “doesn’t want us to be in pain.”

He sees those fears as fueling calls for assisted suicide legislation, a subject on which, he said, there is “no choice at all” for Catholics.

In these times of questionable ethics, some people have embraced the idea of trying to second guess God as they select the time for their own death. “Being creatures of God, it’s a rather cynical gesture to say, since I can’t control when (natural) death may come, let’s do it now – beam me up, I’m done.”

But the Church doesn’t mandate extraordinary measures if all hope fails, he said. “We have moral obligations to offer reasonable care where there is reasonable hope,” he said. “If the burdens are greater than the benefits, you don’t have to go to extreme measures. But if there’s a good chance for longer life for years, months or a special goal such as being able to attend a child’s wedding, then go for it,” he said.

Msgr. Sam A. Sirianni, director of the diocesan Office of Worship, and his brother, Father Anthony Sirianni, who is nationally regarded for his work in palliative care with children, were also among the speakers.

Father Sirianni, pastor of St. Helena Parish, Edison, stressed the need to be present for those in the end stages of life. “Treat them with the greatest respect,” he urged. “Talk to them about spirituality, ask them what their dreams are and what they think heaven is going to be like. Remind them that God is there to journey with us and look at every person individually.”

Msgr. Sirianni focused on ensuring that people have the rites they desire when they die. “Be clear about what we want,” he said. “Write things down. Pick your readings and the music. Specify what you want.”

He noted that these days, “society tends to deny the reality of death and likes funeral rituals done more quickly. They don’t give people enough time to grieve. They want people to move on too fast,” he said.

“We need to be comforting and walk with people,” said Msgr. Sirianni.