By Father John Catoir | Catholic News Service

On Feb. 24, 1977, my friend, Jesuit Father James McCoy, died a peaceful death at the age of 77. Every February, he comes to mind, and I miss him. He was my spiritual director for nearly 25 years. He taught theology at Fordham University during my college years, and we became friends.

Father Jim was an exceptional man, an original thinker. He was quiet, intellectually strong and independent. He was the best teacher I've ever had. The impact of his thinking has stamped my life and my priesthood.

He told me to always act according to my convictions. He pursued this ideal in his life. He loved Jesus and was determined to follow his example.

I absorbed Father Jim's idealism and as his student was inspired to reconsider the direction of my life. Up until then, I had wanted to follow a career in the media, but the Korean War was raging, and I knew I would soon be drafted. This made me realize that there were more important things God might want me to do with my life.

Father Jim guided me but never suggested that I become a priest. He brushed off my attempts to discuss the priesthood, saying that it was between me and God.

"We are all called to holiness," he would say. Those words put my mind at ease. I didn't want to give up the idea of having a wife and family. However, after a year in the Army, I felt a deep calling. I could not do anything else.

When I told Father Jim of my intention to be a priest, he was pleased and said, "Now you will always know it was your decision and that you had no pressure from anyone."

His restraint in encouraging me became clear. He was unwilling to cheer me on during my discernment process, for good reason. Years later, when things got rough, I knew this was the life I choose, no matter what. That was his gift to me.

As a priest, I kept in touch with Father Jim over the years because he had given me so much. He answered my confused questions and stood by as a pillar of strength when I was floundering. What made Father Jim especially great in my estimation was that he had great compassion for the mentally ill and always offered words of encouragement.

Father Jim was especially helpful with those who suffer. If you are in physical or emotional pain, ask him to help you from heaven right now.

He will never be canonized, but he is a saint in heaven nevertheless. He still guides me, and I am sincerely grateful to him.