By Carolyn Woo | Catholic News Service

This essay is the last of three reflections on the points I have offered at commencements.

People often ask me who I admire most. My response has evolved from specific individuals to a quality that inspires me deeply: the ability of some people to make others better.

I have seen this in so many instances, professional and personal, that I think it is more prevalent than we care to acknowledge. Attention to this aspect fosters gratitude, but more important, calls us to redirect to others what we have received.

Let me start with some examples. A person who became a leader in a company discovered in his personnel files a comment from the hiring manager at his interview decades ago, "I will be reporting to this person in the future." The interviewer saw talent and was effusive in noting it for the record.

My son was enrolled in a course that required the students to develop skills for creativity and innovation. As these are totally foreign to him, he was intimidated, and every assignment became a stressful encounter with potential failure.

One day, his instructor brought into class an accordion: the instrument he was just learning to play. He demonstrated for his students the clumsy, self-conscious and hesitant renditions of the most basic tunes adjusted for beginners.

My son did not gain literacy right away, but he certainly enjoyed the class much more and embraced his assignments as opportunities to learn.

When I was recruited for the provost's office in my early career, I immediately launched into a volley of what I did not know, what I had not done, and how as a first-year full professor I had no standing and credibility.

The provost told me to focus on what I did know rather than what I did not, and what the university needed for a major transition. He told me he would make a place for me when I was ready: that would be two years later.

I am sure you readers have your own stories of people who played a role in your transformation not from a small caterpillar to a larger one, but to the butterfly in its awesome beauty fulfilling its part to sustain life. You have done the same for others.

Helping others come into their own requires more than just recognition. It necessitates engagement. This begins with something as simple as attention and encouragement, then moves to invitation and support. The goal is not to supplant another person's vision with our own.

Perhaps that is the common mistake parents make that can breed resentment and rebellion. Engagement comes through acts of caring that hold a mirror to others' gifts, enlarge their imagination of what is possible, fortify their confidence and steady the early wobbly steps.

Such generosity is difficult in a competitive culture of ratings, rankings and zero-sum mentality. I believe that the ability to lift up others stems not only from the recognition of their gifts, but also of our own.

To not be threatened and small-minded, we must have a healthy concept of our own worth and blessings: one that is not diminished by others' success nor elevated by the speed and height of our own sprints.

Implicit is the humility that recognizes our dependence on each other, that we cannot and should not go at it on our own, that we are better when everyone's gifts are at the table.

Fortifying us is the trust in God's abundance, overflowing and unbounded for all of us, and the understanding that talents are the endowments of the divine, given to an individual for the good of all.

Woo is distinguished president's fellow for global development at Purdue University and served as the CEO and president of Catholic Relief Services from 2012 to 2016.