By Christina Leslie | Staff Writer

In the recognition that Christian consolation is rooted in the hope of faith in the saving Death and Resurrection of the Lord, many parishes throughout the Diocese of Trenton offer those who grieve the assistance of a Lazarus or Consolation ministry. The ministry’s goal is to guide the family of the deceased through the planning and execution of the three parts of the Catholic funeral rite: the wake or vigil service, the funeral liturgy and the rite of committal or burial.

Members of the ministry, named for the brother of Mary and Martha at whose death Jesus wept, offer both consolation and practical guidance to families which have experienced the death of a loved one. Often the first from the parish to reach out to the mourning, Lazarus ministers use as their guide the Order of Christian Funerals, the Church document which details the rubrics prescribed by the Church for these rites.

Lazarus ministers encourage family members to take an active role in selecting options for the wake and funeral liturgy. Scripture, reflection and prayers for the rites may be selected from the Order of Christian Funerals or the Liturgy of the Hours, and music which reflects Christian belief in the Resurrection can be played or sung during the services. Prayers for the Rite of Committal, the conclusion of the funeral rite, are also chosen.

During the rites themselves, Lazarus ministers often serve as lectors or extraordinary ministers of Holy Communion if a family member is unable to participate. Anecdotes and stories of faith gathered by the Lazarus ministers from the family during their meetings are shared with the priest for use during his homily.

The faith community of St. Mary, Colts Neck, benefits from this detailed preparation, asserted Deacon Vincent Rinaldi, pastoral associate for worship, outreach and evangelization at the Monmouth County parish.

“The ministry is indispensible. They help make all the liturgical arrangements, the readings, the music,” he said. “It is an absolute ministry of presence. They are with [the families] from start to finish with all the planning, and are an invaluable help. We are blessed to have a ministry like this, and so are the families they touch.”

St. Mary Parish Lazarus Ministry co-coordinator Angela Kinlin agrees. “Being a Lazarus minister is probably the most fulfilling aspect of my volunteer life,” she said. Involved in the ministry since 1995, Kinlin stated she receives as many blessings as she shares with those to whom she ministers.

“This is a beautiful thing, to help people suffering. At the time of death of a loved one, families are extremely sad and overwhelmed by all that needs to be done,” she continued. “We help them through a difficult process. They are so grateful.”

St. Mary Parish enjoys the service of about 22 active Lazarus members, “but we are always reaching out for more people,” Kinlin stated. “People say, ‘Oh, I couldn’t do that, I’d cry.’ I tell them, ‘You think I don’t cry? I cry with the families.’”

But despite the tears, Kinlin perseveres with this ministry of healing. “This is something that so moves you. The feeling I get to help people is so moving, so indescribable,” she said. “We are the faces of Jesus Christ when people are suffering and need to see Him. I love that I am able to do this.”

Faithful in St. Dominic Parish also perform this much-valued service in times of sorrow for their parishioners. “The funeral home notifies us to set up the Mass,” said Maureen Arsay, pastoral minister in the Brick parish. “We help the family choose readings and music. We set up everything.

“We don’t want the family to worry about anything. They are so appreciative,” Arsay concluded. “Bereavement support starts when we first sit with the family.”

Lazarus ministers of St. Aloysius Parish serve as part of the Jackson parish’s Ministry of Consolation. Ten-year Lazarus ministry member Kathleen Stasny of St. Aloysius Parish, Jackson,  explained her motivations for taking the symbolic walk of faith with grieving families stemmed from her own experience as a mourner.

“I felt I had no say in any of the arrangements when my mother and father died,” Stasny remembered. “There was no personal touch.”

Stasny and other members of the 15-person ministry meet at the funeral home or parish office with grieving families to plan each part of the funeral rite. She fondly remembered an instance where two grateful adult daughters she had counseled gave her a hug after their mother’s funeral. One of them whispered, ‘Thank you for being my angel.”

“That’s why we are there, and why we do what we do,” Stasny continued. “I love helping people through difficult times. It means something to them; it’s a win-win all around.”