By Rosemary Daniels |Correspondent

When Robert Abatemarco, principal of Red Bank Catholic High School, received a call from Dr. Richard Ponton, assistant professor of psychology at Georgian Court University, Lakewood, last summer, he knew there would be an opportunity worth pursuing.

 Dr. Ponton, who has been a friend of Abatemarco’s for the past 30 years, explained that GCU would be hosting a speaker in November, who had significant experience in family counseling.

On Nov. 7, the speaker, Dr. John Sommers-Flanagan, professor of counseling education at the University of Montana, presented a workshop entitled “Understanding and Using Adult Power and Influence” to the sizeable crowd of parents gathered in RBC’s Broad Street auditorium.

Much of the material presented was based on Dr. Sommers-Flanagan’s eight years of experience at Families First in Missoula, Mont., where he counseled individuals, couples, and families. “My findings are based in equal parts on research, and on what parents taught me during those eight years,” he said.

 Sommers-Flanagan acknowledged that parenting is a big commitment. “Parenting does not end when your child turns 18. It is a 24/7 job. The best hitters in the major leagues succeed only about three out of 10 times. The fact that you care enough to come to this seminar tonight shows that you are willing to take the time, and become a better parent,” he said, discussing a variety of techniques for handling issues with all age ranges, and offering specific tips for dealing with children in middle school and high school.

Techniques include, among other things, the need for setting limits, focusing on positive behavior instead of dwelling on the negative, mutual problem solving and maintaining emotional control so volatility is taken out of difficult situations.

Anne Marie Lodato, an RBC middle school teacher, said she plans to use some of the techniques with her special education students. Lodato said, “It was very informative. I definitely see me using it in the classroom. But it’s harder to do as a parent. I plan to try the ‘seven magic words’ with my 20-year old daughter. It’s important to tell them what you want, but to recognize that it’s really their choice in the end. We’re all in the same boat, wanting to raise our kids with the right values.”

Abatemarco was very pleased with the turnout. “I am so happy to see so many parents actively involved. The information we learned tonight can be a real dialogue-opener for anyone who deals with kids. Regardless of all the changes in society, research still shows that the greatest influence on children is their parents. Therefore, we can and must influence the children in a positive way.”