The Baptism of a child is a joyful, but pivotal time in which the relationship between the Catholic family and their practice of the faith can either be positively or negatively impacted. 

It has been my experience that parents who fully understand the meaning of the Sacrament and the theological reasons for the “rules” governing it are often, through their pursuit of Baptism for their child, affirmed in their faith, or engaged more than they had been in the past.  However, families who do not have this understanding and come into the experience with secular preconceptions about Baptism sometimes find themselves frustrated or disappointed, even to the point of turning away from their faith.

Catholic parents are not "entitled" to have their child baptized in a parish simply because they were baptized or simply because they want to.  The Catholic Church's Code of Canon Law offers this guidance: "there must be a founded hope that the infant will be brought up in
the Catholic religion; if such hope is altogether lacking, the baptism
is to be delayed ... ( canon 868.1.2)." 

Given what the Catholic Church teaches about the sacrament of Baptism, that makes perfect
sense.  If Catholic parents do not actively practice their Catholic faith or have no intention of raising their children in a Catholic home, then what is the point of asking for the sacrament? 

At the same time, a pastoral approach to sacramental ministry does not seek to punish or deprive a child because of his/her parents.  As Catholics we live in hope.  But that hope must be founded in reality and what is really possible.  Such discussions surrounding this decision often give rise to anger and resentment.  What the Catholic Church asks, however, is simply that Catholic parents honor and exercise their Catholic responsibilities toward their children. Nothing more, nothing less.

Canon law also reminds Catholic parents and the entire Catholic community that parents or those who take their place are the first and most important teachers of the Catholic faith.  In their early years, children "live what they learn" from their parents or guardians.

Parishes should promote that learning, especially regarding the Catholic faith and religion.  They should help parents.

There are two ways that parishes collaborate with and support Catholic parents in the fulfillment of their obligation and responsibilities: the Catholic school and Catholic religious education programs.  Some Catholic parents prefer home-schooling as a means of teaching the faith.

In the Diocese of Trenton, 12,491 students attend Catholic schools, grades K through 8, in the Diocese's 31 parish elementary schools; 4 regional elementary schools; and 3 elementary schools.  There are also 32 pre-schools.  6,747 students attend Catholic high schools in the
Diocese's 4 parish high schools; 4 diocesan high schools and 3 private high schools.  Catholic religion classes are an essential part of the curriculum, the reason these schools exist.

Where Catholic families cannot or do not send their children to Catholic schools, their obligation to provide religious formation is aided by the parishes of the Diocese.  At last count, 53,082 students participate in parish religious education programs.  Of the Diocese's 107 parishes, all but one parish provide such programs.  Four (4) parishes share them.  Fourteen (14) of these parishes enroll more than 1,000 students each in religious instruction classes.  Eleven (11) other parishes report less than 100 each.

Keep in mind that there are approximately 850,000 baptized Catholics in the Diocese of Trenton and 267,592 registered households.  The question lingers: how will our children, the present and future generations of Catholics, truly learn their faith?

Most Rev. David M. O’Connell, C.M., Bishop of Trenton