By Rosemary Daniels | Correspondent

Forget the chocolates, stash the roses. Thirty couples decided they wanted a different way to show their spouse they loved them this year. For the past few years, San Alfonso Retreat House, West End, has been offering a “Valentine Twilight Evening of Reflection. This year’s celebration, held Feb. 11, included two presentations, a beautiful dinner, and a Mass to celebrate marriage and renew both new and longstanding vows. 

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Redemptorist Father Jim Wallace, the retreat director at San Alfonso, changed his talk up a bit this year, taking the opportunity to share the intricacies of the icon of Our Mother of Perpetual Help. This year marks the 150th anniversary of the icon being given to the Redemptorists by Pope Pius IX. In keeping with Pope Pius’ mandate to “Make Her known throughout the world!” Father Wallace provided insight into the history of the icon, and shared the meaning of the various figures represented in the artwork. Norbert Gambozza, a 46-year parishioner of St. Leo the Great Parish, Lincroft, noted, “Now I see more meaning in the icon. There is a lot I didn’t know about it.”

Gambozza and his wife Marie have attended this night of reflection for the past three years, initially joining at the invitation of fellow parish members, The Rossanos. The Gambozzas recently celebrated their 50th wedding anniversary.

After the talk, the couples enjoyed the opportunity to share their love stories at dinner. Married for 36 years, Anita and Bruce Thompson of Epiphany Parish, Brick, have attended since 2006. “This is how we celebrate Valentine’s Day now. It’s become our tradition,” said Anita.  Bruce explains why the night is so special. “It’s the spirituality. It gives you the spark, and makes you realize you married the right person.”

In keeping with the Jubilee Year of Mercy, Redemptorist Father Kevin O’Neil spoke of marriage as a “sacrament of mercy.” Father O’Neill spoke of the multiple meanings of mercy within Scripture, ranging from “Hesed,” a word meaning unconditional, covenantal love, which is used for God’s relationship with his people, to “Rachamin,” a Hebrew word for womb, which signifies the life-giving dimension of mercy, deep within us, which demonstrates the maternal side of God.

He asked the couples if they had experienced the mercy of God directly through their spouse, or through others in chaos or suffering. He pointed out that one of the mercies of the Church is to comfort the suffering. “While there is a temptation to distance yourself from your spouse in times of trouble, you need to draw together. As Pope Francis tells us, ‘Mercy makes the world less cold.’”

In closing, Father O’Neil asked the attendees to accompany him in singing “I Have Loved You,” which added the perfect ending to his presentation. Pam Rossano commented on the presentation, saying, “These priests have such insight, even though they have not experienced married life.”

At the conclusion of the evening, Redemptorist Father John McGowan celebrated Mass for the couples, a group whose marriage tenure ranged from six to 64 years. In his homily, he said, “While a wedding is one day, a marriage is a lifetime. We as celibates admire the devotion that marriage takes. You chose a friend who became family. I hope you call each other best friends all your married life.” Margaret Bergman of St. Dorothea Parish, Eatontown, has brought Henry, her husband of 64 years, to this night of reflection for the past three years. “We always enjoy the sermon. They truly have a way with their homilies.”

In their first year of coming to San Alfonso Retreat house, Roseann Spano had to convince husband Pete that it would not be a session of Stations of the Cross and incense. Roseann confided, “I told him that if he didn’t like it, I’d take him to Atlantic City.” That was 38 years ago, and their 44-year marriage is still going strong.