By David Karas | Correspondent

Parishioners in Mother of Mercy Parish, Asbury Park, are mourning the loss of Tamara Seidle, who was killed in front of her seven-year-old daughter and less than a mile from the parish by her ex-husband, a Neptune police sergeant, on the morning of June 16.

Seidle, a mother of nine children ranging in age from 7 to 24, was coordinator of religious education for Mother of Mercy Parish, having previously served for many years as catechist, altar server coordinator, reader and Extraordinary Minister of the Eucharist in the former Our Lady of Providence Parish, Neptune.

A prayer service planned for Wednesday evening was among the efforts being made to honor her memory and recognize the impact she has had in her lifelong service to the Catholic community in Asbury Park.

“Our minds cannot fathom the horror that transpired when Tamara Seidle was shot and killed in front of her own seven-year old daughter on Tuesday morning in Asbury Park,” said Bishop David M. O’Connell, C.M., in a statement released the day after the killing. “The broken hearts of all those who knew her and worked with her, both in the parish and across the Diocese, are struggling with unimaginable and inconsolable grief at her loss. As Bishop of the Diocese of Trenton, I join the parish, as well as Tamara's friends and family, in prayer for her and her nine children at this difficult time. May the Lord Jesus welcome her into his heavenly kingdom.”

In a statement Wednesday, Father Miguel Virella, SVD, pastor of the parish, joined parishioners in expressing the parish’s sadness.

“From her days growing up in Our Lady of Mount Carmel Parish and her volunteer service in Our Lady of Providence Parish, to her more recent role as a leader in our unified parish family, Tamara has dedicated her life to serving God and teaching children about his love for them,” he said. “Her faithful spirit has been a light to us all as we, coming from different places, have grown into what is now Mother of Mercy Parish.”

‘Senseless and tragic violence’

In comments to members of the news media, Monmouth County First Assistant Prosecutor Marc LeMieux said that off-duty police Sgt. Philip Seidle shot Tamara, his 51-year-old ex-wife, over child custody issues using his service handgun in two bursts of gunfire, once through the driver’s side door and again as he walked to the front of her car and fired through the windshield. The shooting came after he chased her in her vehicle through the community, he reported.

The shooting took place less than a mile from the Our Lady of Mount Carmel worship site, where she received her First Holy Communion.

The incident occurred, LeMieux told the media, as their 7-year-old daughter watched from the front passenger seat of his car. Before surrendering, the off-duty officer held his weapon to his own head, leading to a 30-minute standoff with police.

Authorities have charged Seidle with murder, unlawful possession of a weapon and endangering the welfare of his daughter, the Prosecutor’s Office has said. He is being held in Monmouth County Correctional Institution, Freehold, in lieu of $2 million bail. The Asbury Park Police Department, among other local, county and federal agencies, are investigating the incident.

Bishop O’Connell condemned the violent act that took her life and left her children without a mother, and a father in police custody.

“Such senseless and tragic violence has become all too commonplace in society,” he said.

 ‘Devastating loss’

Speaking on behalf of the parish, Father Virella expressed condolences to the family that Seidle leaves behind.

“Our thoughts and prayers are very much with Tamara’s nine children, who have suffered such a devastating loss,” the statement read.  “We ask God to give them strength as they mourn her death and begin to heal. We call upon everyone in this community to hold them in prayer, and to be present to them in their times of need throughout the days and months to come.”

“We also recognize the toll that Tami’s death has on the children of our parish, with and for whom she worked so diligently,” the parish said.  “We pray that they will always remember her faithful example of Christian discipleship and service to this Church that she loved so dearly.  We pray that they will draw ever closer to God and, just as she had hoped for them, be able to turn to God whenever things become difficult in their lives.”

Mother of Mercy Parish and Our Lady of Mount Carmel School will hold a prayer service Wednesday at 6:30 p.m. in Our Lady of Mount Carmel Church, located at 1201 Asbury Avenue, Asbury Park. Counselors will be available after the service as well.

The parish is in the process of planning other efforts to remember Seidle and honor her contributions to the faith community in Asbury Park.

Bishop O’Connell commented about Seidle’s positive impact on the community and those with whom she interacted.

“Tamara had been such a pillar of faith within the community of Mother of Mercy Parish,” he said.

Devoted to faith, family

Seidle has long and deep roots in the Catholic community of Asbury Park. She received her First Holy Communion in Our Lady of Mount Carmel Parish, later becoming a catechist in St. Peter Claver Parish before eventually moving to Our Lady of Providence Parish. In 2012, she was named religious education coordinator for the parishes of Our Lady of Mount Carmel and Holy Spirit, which later became Mother of Mercy Parish in 2014.

Even through the transition period following the parish merger, Seidle maintained her optimism and excitement for her ministry. Paramount among her many duties during the twinning was managing a staff of 38 teachers and aides to create a single religious education program for all of the children in four former parishes eventually consolidated into Mother of Mercy Parish.

Having taught religious education in both the Trenton and Metuchen Dioceses for more than two decades, Seidle was committed to the importance of religious education.

“It’s going to form their lives,” Seidle told The Monitor in a 2012 interview. “Every child will encounter a situation where they are tested, and if there is no answer to God, there will be no answer to life. They may not grasp everything,” she continued, “but they will go back to that foundation to help them.”

Media reports indicated that Seidle was involved in the community outside of her parish as well, active in Neptune athletics and a member of the Red and Black Booster Club. Local media outlets included comments from those who knew her, and who described her as a devoted mother and “a nice woman with a bubbly spirit.”

A breast cancer survivor, Seidle leaves behind daughters, aged 24, 17, 15, 12 and 7, and sons, 22, 20, 19 and 11. Several of her children are either current or former students in Our Lady of Mount Carmel School.

‘A mentor and a friend’

Father Virella knew and worked with Seidle since she first arrived in Our Lady of Providence Parish in 2000. Beyond being a spiritual advisor for Seidle, he said that they were friends, and acknowledged that she was dealing with some very difficult problems at home.

He said that some of her children went through the parish religious education program, with some of her older children following in her footsteps through volunteering for the program itself.

Following her death Tuesday, Father Virella has been focusing his efforts on comforting the children she has left behind. He spent much of the day of the shooting with her family in the Monmouth County Prosecutor’s Office, and had invited them to come to the parish offices this week.

The parish statement described it as a blessing to know and work with Seidle, referring to her as “an inspiration, a mentor and a friend,” and adding, “She will be dearly missed, but we take comfort in knowing that God will shine his mercy on the soul of his ‘good and faithful servant.’”