By Rosemary Daniels | Correspondent

“Those who minister in the shadows of human acclaim” is the way Msgr. James P. McManimon described the role of the deacon in the Church. Msgr. McManimon founded the diaconate in the Diocese of Trenton in 1974. Due to his efforts, the first class of deacons was ordained in 1977, and the ministry now boasts 292 deacons within the Diocese.

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On Nov. 8, current deacons, friends and family gathered to honor the 142 men who have died in the service of the Lord during a Mass in St. Veronica Church, Howell, with Msgr. Thomas J. Mullelly, vicar for Clergy and Consecrated Life, as principal celebrant of the Mass. During the intercessions, he read the name of each deceased deacon and a family member or friend came up and placed a carnation in a vase that was set up at the base of the sanctuary. Flowers were also presented in memory of the wives and children of the deacons, as well as one in memory of Msgr. McManimon.

Ann Eby, a member of St. Veronica Parish, reflected on her husband, Richard, who was in the first class of deacons in 1977, and passed away in 2002. Eby said, “He always said he wanted to make the 25th anniversary of being a deacon, and he did.”

Deacon John Haney would have celebrated his 25th anniversary as a deacon this year, according to his wife, Rita.

“I just started coming to these Masses last year, said Rita Haney, as she told of her husband’s passing in 2010. “It was too hard before that. There were 12 deacons in our class; now there are only six or seven left.” Haney’s statement is a telling one. The wives of the deacons are an integral part of the ministry.

Longtime parishioner of St. Martha Parish, Point Pleasant, Haney reflected on the role the wives have in their husband’s ministry. “We went to school with them, we helped them with their ministry. We just,” she hesitated, "stood behind them.”

The Office of Clergy and Consecrated Life instituted the memorial Mass in 1992. “This is an important part of our community’s expression of support to the widows, children and families of our deceased deacons,” said Carolyn Leaver, executive secretary for the diaconate office. The wives of the deacons tend to form a close network, which remains strong even after their husbands’ passing. Eby noted, “We all know each other and we share common things. It helps a lot … we keep close to the Lord.” Haney added, “It helps to be here with my sisters in Christ.”

In a stirring homily, Deacon Larry Finn, former associate director of the Office of Clergy and Consecrated Life, talked about the feelings that are to be expected in the face of loss: sadness, sorrow, grief and even anger, but he encouraged the assembled group not to dwell on those feelings.

 “If we dwell on the loss, we leave no room for the gain.” Deacon Finn shared his own story of loss, then proceeded to say that a person’s reaction to loss is a choice.  

“I can dwell on the questions, or I can embrace the faith that comes to us from Christ the Lord, our Savior.”

Deacon Finn shared his strong belief that the deacons and other deceased family members honored that day will “go out to meet the Lord with all the saints in the heavenly kingdom.”

Deacon Finn expressed his gratitude to the diaconate community for their support when he and his wife lost their son, Larry Finn, Jr., in 2013. “We truly were in the company of angels that day.”

Josephine Fuoco of Jesus the Good Shepherd Parish, Riverside, lost her husband, Deacon Joe Fuoco three years ago. He was ordained a deacon in 1978, the second class of deacons in the Diocese.

Although she found it very hard to attend the Mass, it was made easier with the support of friend, Donna Benner. Another member of Jesus the Good Shepherd, Benner’s husband Rick is also a deacon.

Benner said, “Joe trained Rick,” then noted how she and Josephine Fuoco have become very close friends due to their husbands’ shared ministry.