By Dorothy K. LaMantia | Correspondent

If you ask a man to attend a meeting after a day’s work, he will probably rattle off this list of reasons why he won’t:  “They’re boring, a waste of time, and go off topic; nothing gets accomplished; I hate to sit around talking, I’d rather do something,” and so on. 

Yet on the first and third Tuesday evenings of every month, as many as eight men sit around a table in St. Mary Parish, Barnegat, where they pray and talk about their lives and vocations as husbands and fathers.

“Our goal as dads is to get our kids into heaven,” said Fred Kutner, founder of D.A.D.S., which stands for “Dedicated and Devoted Servants to our Lord and our family.” 

The Mom’s Group, which was founded by Kutner’s wife, Irene, and currently has 35 members who meet two mornings a month, provided the inspiration for the founding of DADS.

“Since I had coordinated a men’s group in my last parish, I had to step up to the plate and get one going here,” he said, noting that his suggestion was met with the approval of pastor, Msgr. Kenard Tuzeneu.  “A dozen of us came together.  Very few of us knew each other, but we made a commitment and got to know each other by reading and discussing  “Christian Fatherhood: The Eight Commitments of St. Joseph’s Covenant Keepers, which was published in 1996 and written by Stephen Wood, who promotes a Christian perspective for renewing the world by restoring the vocation of fatherhood.  This group model themselves as husbands and fathers after their patron, St. Joseph.”

 “We try to live our faith as fathers. We don’t try to tell each other how to be dads,” said member Dan Donion, father of four. “We are trying to share our faith.”

 “Guys share in confidence what’s going on in their families and we help each other raise a child in a Catholic environment,” added member Rob Vidal.  “Here we have a team and a brotherhood behind us.”

This Lent, the DADS and Mom’s Groups are collaborating in offering a six-week marriage enrichment program, “Hidden Keys to a Loving Relationship” with the hope that more couples will focus on their relationships. 

Though DADS is regularly advertised in the parish bulletin and also has a presence on Facebook and Twitter, the main draw for men to join the group is through personal contact.

Member Jeff Staiger reflected, “I get recharged when I am here… I come here to be with men and dads who want to raise kids.  Guys talk about how they tackle the tasks of fatherhood.  I leave here with more hope.”