By Barb Kane, Special Contributor
As a young parent, I knew how important it was to bring my children to Mass, but I worried they might disturb others. My children would wiggle and squirm, try to lift the kneeler and drop it, and seemed to pick the most inappropriate times to talk at full volume. I wanted to hear the message Jesus had for me, but how could I help two preschool-aged children understand how special the Mass is?
When families attend Mass together, even imperfectly, they teach that worship is part of family life rather than something separate for adults. Mass is a visit with Jesus, who is present with us each week. With some preparation and the right mindset, the experience can be a meaningful encounter with Jesus for the entire family.
How can you prepare? Young children thrive on structure, so letting them know what will happen before arriving at Mass can help:
Explain the four main parts of the Mass:
Introductory Rite – begins with singing in praise, being welcomed by the priest, and asking for God’s forgiveness.
Liturgy of the Word – we listen to Scripture and hear what God is sharing with us.
Liturgy of the Eucharist – we remember Jesus’ love and prepare to receive him in the Eucharist.
Concluding Rite – sends us out with joy to share Jesus’ love with others.
A simple explanation of our “Catholic calisthenics” also helps:
We stand when we need to pay attention.
We sit so we can listen.
We kneel and genuflect to show honor and reverence to God.
At home, introduce parts of the liturgy by listening to hymns, praying the Sign of the Cross throughout the day, kneeling for bedtime prayers or reading a Bible story before Mass.
Children need to associate Mass with worshipping God and remembering Jesus, and a helpful tool is a “Mass bag” filled with faith-based books and coloring pages. Many parishes, including ours at Sacred Heart in Mount Holly, offer children’s Mass books and coloring pages tied to feast days or the liturgical year. See if your church offers similar resources and check out a few of my personal favorites in the resource list below to help build your “Mass bag”.
During Mass, where you sit matters. Sitting closer to the altar keeps children engaged because they can see what the priest is doing. They enjoy watching the procession and the activity around the altar. Take time to answer their questions and invite them to use their “eagle-eyes” to notice what the priest, deacon, lector, cantor and altar servers are doing.
Distraction is normal, especially with their short attention spans. The goal is to keep children connected without overwhelming them. A brief visit to the vestibule can help burn off excess energy or reset their mood. Returning to the pew when they are ready teaches that the Mass is important. Encouragement is key! If a child sings for part of a song or kneels for a moment, praise the effort.
Teens can also be guided to deepen their experience at Mass. Reading the Scripture passages beforehand helps them listen with purpose. Asking teens what they noticed during the Readings or homily encourages reflection without pressuring them. When my children were teens, I invited conversation during the car ride home by sharing how our pastor Father John’s homily helped me see a personal situation differently. Often this led them to share their own challenges and opened discussion on how the spiritual message applied to their lives.
Every parish community is enriched by families with children because their presence reminds us that our faith is alive and growing. As mentioned in three of the four Gospels (Matthew 19:14, Mark 10:14, and Luke 18:16), Jesus said, “Let the children come to me and do not prevent them”. We honor his words by welcoming families and supporting them as they build the habit of worship.
Resource List:
https://dioceseoftrenton.org/faith-at-home
Books:
Father Ben gets ready for Mass by Katie Warner
A Missal for Toddlers by Vivian Dudro
Child’s Guide to the Mass by Sue Stanton
Jesus is Here: My Lift-The-Flap Mass Book by Mary E. Wingfield, Ed. D
We go to Mass by Christine Way Skinner
Teach Me About The Mass by Paul S. and Joan E. Plum (coloring book)
Catholic Book of Bible Stories by Laurie Lazzaro Knowlton
Seek and Find Bible by Elisenda Castells
Barb Kane is parish catechetical leader in Sacred Heart Parish, Mount Holly.
Faith at Home is a monthly column coordinated by the Diocese of Trenton’s Departments of Catechesis, evangelization and Family Life, and Youth and Young Adult Ministry. For additional Faith at Home resources, visit dioceseoftrenton.org/faith-at-home.