Msgr. Joseph N. Rosie, episcopal vicar for Monmouth County, and pastor of St. James Parish, Red Bank, blesses an anniversary couple Oct. 6.
John Feeney admitted that he’s no expert in marriage.
Then, with a wink and a wry smile, he said, “I’ve only been married once,” to his wife of 50 years, Janice.
But really, he said, “If I could just bundle our 50 years together, I would have to say the only thing more precious than time is who you spend it with.”
The Feeneys, members of St. Catharine-St. Margaret Parish, Spring Lake, were among the 250 couples from around the Diocese who attended one of the two Bishop’s Anniversary Blessing Masses this year. Bishop David M. O’Connell, C.M., celebrated a Mass Oct. 6 in St. Robert Bellarmine Co-Cathedral, Freehold, for married couples from Monmouth and Ocean Counties marking one, 25, 50 or more years of marriage this year. He celebrated another Mass Oct. 27 in St. Mary of the Assumption Cathedral, Trenton, for couples from Burlington and Mercer Counties.
PHOTO GALLERY: Bishop’s Anniversary Blessing Mass Oct. 6, 2024
PHOTO GALLERY: Bishop’s Anniversary Blessing Mass Oct. 27, 2024
The Bishop’s Anniversary Blessing Masses have been a standing favorite in the Diocese, providing couples the opportunity to renew their wedding vows and receive a special blessing from the Bishop. After the Masses, the couples are invited to receive an individual blessing from one of the priest concelebrants and a certificate marking their milestone. Couples and their families then enjoyed refreshments, music and socializing at receptions.
Shepherd’s Message
In his homily for each of the two Masses, Bishop O’Connell applied the readings to the couples and their commitment to married life.
“Today we celebrate the fact that you decided to get married in the Church because you understand your marriage – you see your marriage as a Sacrament, one of those visible signs instituted by Christ to give grace,” the Bishop said.
An anniversary couple smiles during the Mass Bishop O’Connell celebrated Oct. 27 in St. Mary of the Assumption Cathedral, Trenton. Mike Ehrmann photos
“You understood your marriage as something not just between the two of you, but between the two of you and God,” he continued.
“You have chosen to be married in the sight of a generous God who so loved the world that he gave himself to us in the person of Jesus Christ. And in the Spirit of this generous God, husband and wife are to give themselves to each other.”
Bishop O’Connell asked the couples, “What did you see one, 25, 50 or more years ago? What do you see now? Are the visions different? Clearer? Better?”
The Bishop urged couples to love in the same way that Jesus had commanded – “to love as he has loved.”
“Jesus loved until it cost him. He loved all the way to the Cross and Death,” the Bishop said. “Love, in the sense that Jesus means, is loving even when it means undergoing suffering for the sake of the other. That is real love, loving for the good of the other.”
Lessons Learned
Through joyful words, laughter and tears, some of the couples shared their thoughts on the marriages being celebrated that day.
The way Ronald Thornley of St. Elizabeth Ann Seton Parish, Whiting, sees it, if it weren’t for God, he and his wife, Elizabeth, wouldn’t be married 25 years.
“We’ve been through it … the roughest of times,” Elizabeth said.
“But we really come together, and we pray together, and we’ve really turned to God,” she said, adding illness and death of loved ones were among the hardships they endured.
In the end, Elizabeth added, “You have to be friends … you have to think about each other. God comes first, and then your spouse.”
Charlie Soffel recounted a wedding day that was beset by a thunderstorm and torrential rain. But he observed that, sometimes, “rain is lucky for marriage.”
And after 52 years of marriage to his wife, Margaret, and raising two adopted children, he said, “it obviously is.”
Bishop O’Connell celebrates the Anniversary Blessing Mass Oct. 27 in St. Mary of the Assumption Cathedral, Trenton.
He offered some words of wisdom for young couples preparing for marriage and newlyweds, saying, “Everybody says it’s 50-50.
“That’s not true, it’s 100-100,” he said. “And you can’t always be right; sometimes you have to not say that you are right and let it go.”
Deacon David and Karen Colter, married 25 years, were happy to attend the Oct. 27 Mass with their five children. The couple belong to St. Raphael-Holy Angels Parish, Hamilton.
“We wanted the kids to see the importance the Church places on the Sacrament of Marriage, that it’s not just Mom and Dad,” Karen said. “Here they see a community of couples.”
Deacon Colter added that after 25 years, “Karen and I realize that our marriage serves as more of a witness to families and to others.”
Newlyweds Manuel Tejada and Maria Melgar of St. Joseph Parish, Trenton, said in the past year there has been a strengthening in their bond as husband and wife; they have learned how important cooperation is in their relationship.
“Practicing our faith” helps to strengthen that bond, Maria said.
Joyce and Patrick Johnson of Corpus Christi Parish, Willingboro, were marking their silver anniversary. Joyce recalled that, early in their marriage, it was their intention to attend the Bishop’s Anniversary Blessing Masses as an “affirmation of our faith and as an outward sign of our love for and commitment to each other.”
“As the years have flown by, our feelings about each other and about our faith have deepened. Coming to the Mass with the Bishop was how we chose to renew in the eyes of the Church our already blessed marriage,” she said.
Sharing Advice
Couples happily shared some tips on what it takes to have a lasting marriage.
Patrick Johnson said one of the “best, most basic pieces of advice” he and Joyce received was a hand-written wedding card that said, “Be kind to each other.”
“Of course, there may be hard times but through those times we need to love each other and be kind,” he said. “Look past the trivial and encourage and embrace the strengths of and differences between you and your partner.”
“When differences arise, talk things out and compromise as needed,” Joyce added. “Remember, you are two individuals who came together for a reason,” she said, then, looking to Patrick, she added, “I’m looking forward to repeating this in another 25 years.”
“Keep a lot of laughter and just keep love in your heart and remember what brought you together,” Janice Feeney said.
“And trust each other,” John Feeney added.
Milestone anniversary couples renew their marriage vows during the Oct. 6 Bishop’s Anniversary Blessing Mass in St. Robert Bellarmine Co-Cathedral, Freehold. Mike Ehrmann photo
Susanna and Andrew Lindner of St. Anthony of Padua Parish, Red Bank, said their pilgrimage to Rome, where they received a blessing from Pope Francis, and welcoming their son, Benedict, were two highlights during their first year of marriage.
Yet in the midst of their joy, there were challenges, Susanna said, and it’s important for couples to remember “that you have someone else to lean on and that you’re not by yourself.
“You’re working together to get to heaven. You’re not alone,” she said.
Golden anniversary couple Rosemary and Barry Halloran of St. Gregory the Great Parish, Hamilton Square, said their Catholic faith serves as the basis for their marriage and family life.
“It’s given us strength, especially through all the trials we have been through,” Rosemary said. “Whenever challenges came our way, we turned to prayer and asked God for help,” she said, and “with patience and faith, things turn out alright.”