Top photo credit: Getty image
By Lisa Ann Limongello
Before our children learn how to read, they know how to swipe. They see the adults around them check notifications dozens of times a day. This is the current age we live in.
Technology has become an important topic of global discussion. Our Holy Father has weighed in on the conversation in his newest encyclical, Magnifica Humanitas. Many conversations about technology regarding youth begin with limits – to limit or not limit screen time, parental controls, social media, digital access. The research surrounding limits is important; but Pope Leo XIV invites us to ask a deeper question: How is technology shaping the people our children are becoming? It’s an important distinction for parents to realize that digital discipleship is not simply about managing devices, it is about forming disciples.
As humans, we know that our habits form our virtues and vices. Our algorithms teach us what deserves attention. We are “living amid incessant flows of information, opinions and images, we know how easy it can be to influence decisions and preferences through increasingly sophisticated algorithms” (Magnifica Humanitas, 237). The Holy Father reminds us that, “it is imperative to cultivate hearts that love the truth, prefer what is right despite the most appealing content, and pursue wisdom rather than immediate results” (MH, 237). Digital discipleship begins with accompaniment. Pope Leo writes that “accompanying children and young people in using technology for developing responsible relationships, helping them to recognize the risks and choose what fosters inner freedom, is a concrete form of charity” (MH, 238). Parents should help their children discern not only what is safe online, but also what is good and true.
The goal is not raising children who spend fewer hours on screens. The goal is raising children who know how to pray, how to notice another person’s needs, to have real relationships and to hear God’s voice amidst the noise. Technology can become one part of that formation, but not the center. Pope Leo tells us that, “the human heart retains an irrevocable need for genuine closeness. […] Cherish places and times where physical presence remains crucial, such as shared meals, Christian community gatherings, time spent with the lonely and serving the poor.” (Magnifica Humanitas, 239). His focus on relationship building beautifully captures why digital discipleship matters. There is no amount of online connectivity that will replace the human need for presence.
To form digital disciples, we must first become them. Your social media presence should bring you closer to the Lord, not separate you from him. Parents should intentionally cultivate their own social media feeds to reinforce the values they hope to pass on to their children. The accounts we follow, the conversations we engage in, and the content we consume all play a role. Pope Leo would suggest that we become, and engage with, people online that disarm their words, build peace through justice, cultivate a healthy realism, adopt the perspective of victims, and reject the normalization of conflict (MH, 214-218). It is important to remember that children are often formed as much by what they see us do as by what we tell them to do. When we choose to use our own online presence for the greater glory of God, that makes all the difference.
The digital world is “a new continent to be evangelized” (MH, 238). Parents can often feel like they are navigating uncharted waters, similar to how missionaries feel in unfamiliar territories. The good news is that the Church has always raised saints in changing cultures. The opposite of discipleship is not technology, it’s nonparticipation. We should strive to provide families with a healthy and intentional relationship with technology rather than total abstinence or unchecked consumption. Our children do not need parents who know every new app; they need parents who know Christ and will help them to foster a true relationship with him.
Some suggestions
There are several habits that can be introduced that will guide formation for the whole family and help them to build a virtuous family routine.
- Try to keep one meal a day screen free.
- Let your children see you intentionally put your phone down throughout the day.
- Ask your children what they’re watching and what it is teaching them rather than just worrying about how long the video was.
- Plan to serve somewhere in the community together on the weekend.
- Visit the grandparents without phones.
- Practice sitting in silence together or praying out loud as a family before bed.
Lisa Ann Limongello is parish catechetical leader in St. Luke Parish, Toms River and the parishes that compose the Catholic Community of Hopewell Valley.
Faith at Home is a monthly column coordinated by the Diocese of Trenton’s Departments of Catechesis, evangelization and Family Life, and Youth and Young Adult Ministry. For additional Faith at Home resources, visit dioceseoftrenton.org/faith-at-home.