Nick Petrillo
As Natural Family Planning Awareness Week approaches July 20-26 and we reflect on its theme, “Pursue a lasting love … Marriage: Create hope for the future!” we are reminded that the greatest gift of marriage is the manifestation of God’s love in the world and sharing in his creative power.
When couples prepare for Catholic marriage, they receive a brief introduction to NFP and its holistic approach to women’s health and fertility as a shared journey and responsibility. For those who use an NFP method, fertility is seen as a normal, natural and healthy part of a woman’s life, not a problem to be avoided. NFP is in harmony with the biblical understanding of man and woman, husband and wife, becoming one flesh.
The marital embrace has a twofold purpose, to be unitive, bringing the couple together, and procreative, being open to life. The reproductive system is the only system in the human body that, in order to function to its fullest capacity, requires the cooperation of two individuals. Procreation requires the complementarity of man and woman. The gift of a child is a fruit of this complementarity and total gift of self.
This is expressed in the Marriage Rite itself, as the couple is asked: “Are you prepared to accept children lovingly from God and bring them up according to the law of Christ and his Church?” Children are a gift, and gifts are freely given through no merit of our own. As such, we don’t have a right to them. Another important word here is “accept.” We can only accept that which is given to us by the giver.
In a contraceptive culture, the responsibility of avoiding pregnancy often lies primarily on one person, while NFP involves both husband and wife working together to discern and ultimately cooperate with God’s plan for their family. We cannot “accept” that which we work against, and contraceptives actively work against life. Likewise, when dealing with the question of infertility, all too often the “solutions” that today’s culture offers to couples are not in keeping with the dignity of the human person and the sanctity of the marital embrace.
Artificial means of conception (like IVF) seek to divorce(intentional word choice) the unitive from the procreative, placing the act of creation over the unitive. The very means by which this process takes place poses moral dilemmas that we, in good conscience, must avoid. Again, the desire for a child is beautiful and good, but children must remain a gift!
We, despite all the medical advances, cannot “control” birth; only God can determine if, and when a child will come into the world. That being said, there is hope for those carrying the cross of infertility. NaPro Technology offers an ethical and holistic approach to fertility, treating health issues that are often ignored by conventional “fertility treatments” or IVF.
NFP methods empower those who use them to cooperate with God’s intricate and beautiful design. The more knowledgeable a woman (and her spouse) are of her body, the better situated they are to prayerfully discern where the Lord is calling them.
In embracing NFP, couples live in hope – hope in one another, hope in God’s timing and hope for the gift of life as he ordains it.
For more information about NFP, visit https://dioceseoftrenton.org/natural-family-planning
Petrillo is diocesan associate director of Marriage Ministries and NFP.