In his treaties Duties of the Clergy, St. Ambrose observes: “God himself made us friends instead of servants … He gave us a pattern of friendship to follow. We are to fulfill the wish of a friend to unfold to him our secrets that we hold in our own hearts, and are not to disregard his confidences. Let us show him our heart … A friend, then, if he is a true one, hides nothing. He pours forth his soul as the Lord Jesus pours forth the mysteries of the Father.”
Throughout his public ministry it would be hard to imagine that Jesus and his disciples would actually be friends. He was the rabbi. As such they would not be considered equals. Jesus is also older than the others. Granted he was not that much older, but he is still the elder in a society in which such a distinction was important. Jesus was the teacher, the disciples were the students.
A careful read of the Scriptures leads us to realize that indeed much of what Jesus did he did without consulting the disciples. He seldom clued them in to what he was up to or where he was going. When he did, we see that either they didn’t understand (Peter) or they objected (Thomas). There was often a “disconnect” between them, and that is made clearly evident at various points in the ministry of Jesus.
The Gospel we read on the Sixth Sunday of Easter is an extraction from the Last Supper Discourse as found in John’s Gospel. Jesus changes the relationship as he says to them: “No one has greater love than this, to lay down one’s life for one’s friends. You are my friends if you do what I command you. I no longer call you slaves, because a slave does not know what his master is doing. I have called you friends, because I have told you everything I have heard from my Father.”
Jesus does two very important pronouncements here. He not only elevates the disciples from student to friend, he also changes the very nature of friendship as he defines Christian friendship.
We often see in the Scriptures that Jesus redefines or clarifies how his disciples engage in the world. There are certain traits, events, relationships and characteristics that are ours by human nature. Yet, throughout the covenantal period of Israel and then in the new covenantal period of the church, significant aspects of human nature is redefined by our spiritual nature.
The treatment of the poor, the widows, orphans, strangers and aliens in the land was uniquely defined in the Mosaic Law. Jesus reinforces that definition and takes it to a new level. We have been challenged to “love our neighbor as we love ourselves.” Jesus modeled the relationship between a disciple and worldly authority, his enemies and opponents, those who would mistreat and abuse his disciples. Jesus refocused the Jewish understanding of marriage, which was itself already significantly different than that of the Greco- Roman world.
Now we see Jesus define Christian friendship. The philosopher Aristotle defined the nature and kinds of friendship centuries earlier. Today, on a basic human level, we still see our human friendships in the same way. Yet Jesus adds a clear and substantive level to friendship. As Aristotle saw the deepest form of friendship as “for the sake of the other” Jesus says that friendship is “to lay down one’s life.”
It is not enough to enjoy a friend’s company, or to share in the joys, pain, celebration, and grief, of a friend, it is essential to view friendship – Christian friendship – as sacrificial.
Jesus sacrificed himself for us because he calls us friends. We are certainly not equals – and friendship while it has an equalizing effect is not always found between those who are social equals – but we are friends.
Our challenge as disciples is to see Jesus, not only as Lord and savior, but as friend. However, we cannot understand Jesus as friend if we diminish our understanding of Jesus as Lord and savior.
Father Garry Koch is pastor of St. Benedict Parish, Holmdel.